


We Are Outnumbered

by Leathermouth



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Apocalypse, M/M, Zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2012-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-22 06:03:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/606596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leathermouth/pseuds/Leathermouth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The virus has completely devastated over 150 of the world’s major regions and is spreading rapidly. At this point in time we know of only one method of killing the creatures: destroy the brain. Be on the guard of any loved ones who may have recently been in any sort of contact and could be infected. And if you find yourself in a threatened position, please do not hesitate to act. Again. This is not a test. This is not a joke. We as a species are overwhelmed. We are outnumbered. </p><p>The world is about to change as Ryan knows it, but can he and Brendon survive the change? Or will they soon end up like the majority of the population?</p><p>WARNINGS: Death, Gore, Violence, and Sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is currently on hiatus, but hopefully will continue shortly.

I sprint down the street, the late August heat smothering against me as I struggle to pace my breathing. Fuck. Why did I quit the cross country team? Dumbest mistake ever and definitely not one of my brighter moments. I whip around the corner, hearing the footsteps behind me get closer. My footing falters as I try to keep my speed up, but I know it’s no use. I can feel myself slowing down. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_. I did not need this right now. The footsteps behind me speed up and I feel a body crash into me, slamming me against the brick building to my right.

“Shit,” I hiss out as a white-hot pain flashes through my body from where my head makes contact with the brick, my vision going white before slowly fading back in. My vision focuses in back on Spencer pinning me against the wall and grinning widely.

“Gotcha,” he says proudly, dropping his grip from my t-shirt. I let myself slide down the wall and rub my hand against the back of my head, trying not to wince at the shooting pain. Spencer thrusts his fist into the air in victory. “I win again!”

“Was that much force entirely necessary?” I ask, squinting at him through the bright sunlight. He gives a small shrug before redirecting his attention to his phone.

“Sorry,” he mutters. We both know he doesn’t mean it. I watch as he scrolls through his text messages and a grin spreads across his face as he looks back up at me, “We gotta go; Jon and Brendon wanna meet up for pizza at Gino’s.” I feel my stomach flutter a little and fight letting my hand fly to it. Hearing his name should not have this kind of effect on me. He’s one of my best friends for fucks sake, nothing more. Spencer senses my hesitation and interprets it wrong. He raises an eyebrow.

“You okay with this?” I shake the thought of Brendon away and nod, giving Spencer a reassuring smile that he returns before spinning around and leading me towards the main street again.

I follow in silence and let my mind wander back to Brendon. I mean, these feelings about him hadn’t just appeared overnight, but sometimes I felt weird having progressed to where even a mention of his name can make my stomach somersault and make me wanna puke from pure happiness. This wasn’t how normal people felt about their best friends. I didn’t feel this way about Spencer or Jon at least. But Brendon. _Oh Brendon_. He made me feel so many things at once I seriously thought I was going to explode at times. Spencer turns his head back to look at me, raising his eyebrow again.

“You okay?” He asks, his voice dripping with genuine concern. “You’re not getting sick are you?” His eyes narrow a little, but I roll my own and shake my head. Everyone was getting sick lately. Some kind of intense influenza with really odd mental symptoms, I guess. At least that was what I had heard on the news.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going psycho on you,” I joke, punching his arm and causing more damage to my own hand rather than his shoulder. He laughs.

“So you’re not gonna try to eat my face off?” He teases back, referencing  the story we had both heard on the news earlier and I smirk.

“Damn, you caught me,” I laugh, putting my hands up in a mock surrender. “Totally took some bath salts before you got around the corner just so I could get my revenge by devouring your flesh. Mmmm, yummy!” I lunge towards him, barring my teeth and he laughs, feigning a fearful expression as he takes a step away from me.

“Oh no! How could I be so naïve as to not have noticed?” We both crack up and face back towards the end of the block as we shove each other around. How ridiculous was it that people were taking drugs that caused people to hallucinate and wanna eat flesh? Totally laughable. Well, not for the guy who got eaten, but still. Made for good jokes in our circle at least. I see the sign for the pizza parlor come into view and feel my pace speed up on its own accord and Spencer cocks his eyebrow again but matches my pace easily.

“Bit of a rush, eh?” He offers, his eyes searching mine for something. They give away nothing and he tears his eyes from mine, frustrated. Spencer speeds up even more and reaches the door before me, yanking it open and holding it for me. I rush in past him into the air-conditioned restaurant.

I inhale deeply, allowing the scent of fresh-baked pizza to invade my senses before finally spotting Jon and Brendon in a corner, waving us over. Brendon’s eyes focus on mine and his face breaks into a wide smile. Fuck. My heart leaps up to my throat but I fight off the shaky feeling now coursing through my body. Taking a deep breath, I weave through the mostly empty tables and finally arrive at the back corner where they’re perched.

“Hey!” Brendon says cheerfully, standing up and engulfing me in a tight hug. I hold my breath, awkwardly wrapping my own arms around him. Hugs from Brendon were normal, but for me they felt different. But maybe I was reading too much into it. Wouldn’t be the first time _that’s_ happened. Brendon gives my body one last squeeze then lets go, sitting back down.

Spencer pulls out a chair next to Jon and sits down, leaving me the only one left standing. I narrow my eyes a little at Spencer before sitting in the only remaining chair, right next to Brendon. I glance around the restaurant. We’re the only ones in here, not counting the waitress standing over by the counter. What the hell? This place was always packed. It was the most popular pizza place and hang out in the entire city.

“Uh, where is everyone?” I ask turning back to the guys, all of which give me a confused look.

“Well, there’s usually just the four of us, and considering we’re all here….” Jon trails off but I shake my head.

“Not what I meant. I mean where is everyone else? Like the usual people who are in here. This place is never this dead.” Spencer, Jon, and Brendon all glance around the restaurant, following my gaze.

“Oh,” Jon mutters. “Weird.” He shrugs it off, going back to the piece of pizza he was midway through devouring. Brendon places slices onto the plates in front of me and Spencer before biting into his own as well.

“Maybe they’re sick?” he offers through a full mouth of cheese, barely enunciating any of the words. I raise an eyebrow and he swallows quickly to elaborate. “Everyone’s been sick lately, right? Maybe that’s why everyone’s gone. It’d explain why the rest of town is dead too.”

He’s right. Everyone has been getting sick lately. Even the hospitals were running out of room. People had to either stay at home for treatment that may never come or relocate out of the city to a different hospital. Which, hah, good luck with that. Apparently all the hospitals in the state and this half of the country have been exceeding their maximum capacity. Why the fuck is everyone so sick all of a sudden? And since when was the flu a cause to go to a hospital anyways?

I bite into my piece of pizza and all the cheese slides off of the crust and I sigh around it. I hate when that happens. Spencer chokes out a laugh at me around his own slice.

“Smooth,” he mumbles out, and I roll my eyes, picking the excess cheese up and placing it back on the crust. “So what do we wanna do tonight?” We all glance around at each other.

“I don’t know if there’s anything to do,” Jon offers quietly after a moment. “Everywhere is closed. This is like the only open place left in town, no joke. Everyone’s too sick to open anything up right now.” We all sigh. Well, what the fuck were we gonna do?

“We can go to my house?” I suggest, unsure if that’s even a good idea. I can picture my dad not handling that well, but oh well. The guys all nod a little in agreement, and it’s settled. We finish the pizza and each throw down a couple bucks for the bill before making our way back through the maze of tables and out into the heat. One of the many downsides to living in Las Vegas: the ungodly heat. We turn left once out of the door and make our way through the unusually deserted streets to my house.

“This is weird,” Brendon mutters and I snap my attention to him, letting confusion spread across my face. He gestures around the empty street. “Just feels like we’re in a ghost town, ya know?” I look around and can’t help but agree. The town is so empty, it’s almost eerie. It makes me extra thankful that my house isn’t far from the pizza parlor and we arrive there fairly quickly. We hurry up the sidewalk to my front porch. I unlock the door swiftly and we all rush in to the cold air, grateful to get out of the muggy weather.

“Dad?” I call loudly, shutting the door behind us. No answer. “Huh, must not be home.” Spencer and Jon wander off down the hall towards my kitchen leaving me and Brendon behind in the entryway.

“Is it gonna be okay if he comes home and we’re here?” Brendon turns to me, looking genuinely concerned. I guess they all knew how my dad could be. I give a small shrug, not really wanting to give a straight answer. It would be okay, until they left at least. Then it’d get bad, but oh well. Nothing I could do about it now. I wasn’t about to just make them leave after having walked here. Brendon offers me a small smile and I give him a genuine one in return. He grabs my hand leading me down the hall with our arms swinging between us and I can’t help but smile more.

“Dude, do you have any peanut butter?” Spencer’s rummaging through my cabinets like he owns the fucking place and all I can do is roll my eyes.

“Didn’t you just eat?” I huff out, pushing myself up onto the counter next to the sink. Spencer pokes his head out of the cabinet and narrows his eyes at me.

“Your point?” He doesn’t wait for a response before shoving his face back into the cupboard and I sigh.

“Fatass,” Brendon mutters and I snort out a laugh. I watch as Spencer extracts a jar of peanut butter and grabs the bread off the counter.

“Don’t forget the pickles!” Jon pipes up from the fridge, pulling out a jar.

“Oh yeah, almost forgot!” Spencer grabs the jar from Jon and starts making sandwiches.

“What are you? Pregnant?” I watch with disgust painting my face as Spencer spreads peanut butter on a piece of bread and throws pickle slices on top. “That’s disgusting.”

“Wrong,” Spencer says, taking a huge bite. “It’s delicious. And you’re just jealous I didn’t make you one.” I make a gagging noise as I watch him and Jon take more bites of the vile sandwich and can see my disgust mirrored on Brendon’s face. At least I wasn’t alone in thinking this was the grossest thing ever.

“That is so disgusting,” Brendon mutters before turning to me. “Wanna go watch TV?” I nod, jumping off the counter and walking out of the kitchen, leaving Jon and Spencer to eat their fucked up snack.

I grab the remote off the coffee table and click the power button. The screen flashes up on a news scene, but I flip to the next channel. News scene again. Click. News. Click. News. Click. More news. What the actual fuck? I click again, this time keeping it on the news program that pops up. The anchor man has fear etched into his features and looks as if it is taking all that he has in him to keep calm and not break down.

“The virus has completely devastated over 150 of the world’s major regions and is spreading rapidly. At this point in time we know of only one method of killing the creatures: destroy the brain. Be on the guard of any loved ones who may have recently been in any sort of contact and could be infected. And if you find yourself in a threatened position, please do not hesitate to act. Again. This is not a test. This is not a joke. We as a species are overwhelmed. We are outnumbered.” The man’s voice rings out throughout the living room as Brendon and I stare at the screen.  
  
He begins to repeat the phrase as the camera cuts to a scene that is labeled as down on the Las Vegas strip, where what can only be described as utter chaos is taking place. There are people running, many of them dripping blood from their faces and some cars are on fire. I turn to face Brendon and his eyes are wide with the fear that I know show in my own.

“W-what do we do?” He stutters out. Spencer and Jon walk out to see what’s going on and stare at the TV as the man continues to repeat the story.

“What the fuck,” Spencer whispers his eyes widening at the TV before moving between the rest of us. “This is like some horror movie shit!” I sink down onto the couch and continue to stare at the TV. What were we going to do? Spencer was right, this was like out of a horror movie.

“Well, we have food here,” Jon starts, looking at us all. “We can always stay here? I doubt anything could really come out here and hurt us. Not if we lock ourselves up in the house at least.”

_Thud._

We all snap our attention to the ceiling at the sound, and I feel my heart stop a little.

“What the fuck was that?”


	2. Chapter 2

I stand up from the couch and start to walk to the stairs.

“Ry, wait,” Spencer says, throwing a hand on my shoulder. “What if it’s one of the infected like on the news?” I sigh, pausing to glance around everywhere. There it is. I rush over to the table by the front door and grab my old baseball bat out of the umbrella stand. I turn around and waved it at Spencer who gives me a quick nod mixed with a shrug, which I took to indicate that it was better than nothing at least.

“Wait,” Brendon rushes over to the stand and pulls out an old umbrella. He notices my raised eyebrow and shrugs. “You might need help.” I sigh and nod before turning back to the stairs and proceeding to climb with Brendon following so close behind that I can feel his low breaths against the back of my neck.

_Thud._

I glance back at Brendon and his eyes grow wide.

_Thud._

I gulp audibly and Brendon copies me.

“Go,” he mouths, pushing my shoulder further up the stairs. I give a nod before turning forward and starting to climb again. We reach the landing at the top of the stairs and pause to listen for the noise again.

_Thud._

Both of us instantly direct our attention to the location of the sound and I see it’s coming from my dad’s room. Oh. Brendon and I glance at each other and I see him bite his lip. Yep, definitely thinking the same thing I am. I walk to the door and can feel my heart trying to beat straight out of my chest. What am I even going to do if I open the door and it is one of the infected? I mean, sure I have the bat, but would that really do any damage? I stopped again in front of the door, hesitating a little. This is a bad idea; we should just leave the house and ignore the noise…

“Ry,” I look back to Brendon who is staring at me expectantly. “Come on, we gotta do this if we’re gonna stay here for a while.” He’s right. We don’t exactly have anywhere else we can go at the moment. We have to do this. I take a deep breath and throw the door open, raising the baseball bat as if to swing.

Nothing.

Just an empty room.

What the fuck?

I stepped further into the room and glanced around. It was trashed, that’s for sure. How did my dad live in a room like this? There was stuff everywhere. Brendon walks towards and overturned dresser and raises an eyebrow glancing between it and myself.

“Is it normally like this?” I watch his eyes sweep over the room and I follow them, shaking my head. I hear a growling noise come from behind me and I see Brendon’s eyes widen in fear again. I spin around and look back and feel as if my blood freezes over. _Shit_. Stuck to the door with his shirt caught on a hook near the closet stands my dad.

Well, at least what’s left of him. Part of his face seems to have been somehow eaten away and I can see the flesh peeling from it, along with various areas on his outstretched arms. I watch as his arms strain out towards me and Brendon as he tries to reach us.

“Ry,” Brendon breathes out but I refuse to look at him. My dad’s infected and I know what we have to do, but I can’t. He’s my dad for fucks sake. I watch as my dad’s hands claw at the empty air between us, letting out low, throaty growls. It feels almost as if the bat in my hands gets heavier as the realization that this is real sets in.

“I…” I murmur, but I don’t finish the thought. Brendon moves to stand beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder and causes me to jump. We watch as my dad struggles more against the hook and eventually rips free from it, leaving a small trickle of blood running down the wall from where he repeatedly slammed into it. He stumbles towards us slowly with his arms still outstretched and his guttural moans echoing through the room slightly.

I feel incapable of moving. I can’t bring myself to raise the bat and do what I know must be done. He’s my dad. I just can’t.

Brendon must sense my hesitation because he steps between my father and I and raises the umbrella like a bat. As my dad takes another uneven step towards us I watch Brendon bring the umbrella back and swing full force at his head.

The sound that comes from the contact is a sickening crunch and blood coats the end of the umbrella, along with spraying against the wall to the right of us. The zombie doesn’t falter as Brendon pulls the umbrella back and swings again, this time even harder. Another sickening crunch fills the room as the side of my dad’s face caves in.

He continues marching towards us and Brendon drops the umbrella before ripping the bat from my hands. I watch him raise it and swing hard just as my dad’s fingers brush against the front of his shirt. The bat makes contact and with another disgusting crunch, the rest of my dad’s skull seems to cave in and he stops moving before collapsing to the floor.

Brendon looks at me, his breathing heavy, and I realize I’ve been holding my breath the whole time. I let out a shaky exhale and look down at what’s left of my dad. I swallow the little bit of bile that rises in my throat as my eyes run over the bloody mess that’s painting his corpse and the ground around him. I can’t believe it. I don’t want to believe it.

“You okay?” Brendon breathes out and I snap my attention up to him. His brown eyes are wide with concern. I’m about to nod but hesitate not really sure of the answer myself. Am I okay? I don’t even know. I settle with a shrug before stepping over the dead body, careful to avoid the blood pooling around it, and head for the door. Brendon follows without a word and as soon as he’s out I shut the door. I continue moving and walk to my room, pulling out a roll of lime green duct tape I have left over from a stupid science project. I rip off two long strips as I walk back to my dad’s room and place them in a giant X formation on the door.

“This’ll make sure we remember not to go in there,” I say quietly without looking at Brendon. “I don’t know if the blood could contaminate us or anything so we need to avoid it.” I turn back to him and glance over him quickly, noticing a small splatter of blood on his shirt. “You’ll need to change.”

I walk back to my room, him following silently behind me like a small puppy. Moving to my closet, I start pulling out a random t-shirt and jeans. They’d have to do.

“Put these on, they should fit.” I turn and toss them at Brendon who is already pulling off his shirt and throwing it next to his pants in a pile on the floor. Shit. I glance awkwardly at a spot of sunlight on the wall and wait for Brendon to just hurry up and get dressed already, but he pauses.

“Ry?” He asks and I grunt to show I’m listening without actually having to look at him. “Are you okay?” I give a nod, still feigning fascination with the way the sun is hitting the wall. He moves towards me still holding the shirt I tossed him in his hands. “Are you sure? You’re acting a bit odd.”

I nod again, still avoiding looking at him. I don’t care how many times we’ve been swimming together or changed in front of each other. It still made me feel weird that Brendon was standing in my room in only his boxers. He’s still moving closer and I can feel my breath catch in my throat. Fuck. Brendon stops, his chest about six inches from my own and I swallow nervously.

“Ryan,” he says finally, breaking the now awkward silence. I can feel his breath on my cheek he’s standing so close.

“Hm?” I offer, still not looking at him and instead redirecting my attention to the ceiling at the old glow-in-the-dark stars I put up there with Spencer when I was like eight. I really needed to take those down.

“Ryan, is this about your dad?” Brendon’s voice is quiet and I almost have to strain to hear him. I laugh a little and shake my head. No, that definitely was not the problem. The problem was that Brendon was standing six inches away from me and was almost completely naked. “Then what’s wrong?” He pauses. “Wait. Ryan. Do you like me?” His voice goes up in surprise and I feel my heart stop, my cheeks burning up immediately.

Shit.

 _Shit, shit, shit_.

Brendon notices my hesitation and blush, his face breaking into a wide grin.

“You _do_ like me!” He cries out and I cringe. Shit. Brendon notices the cringe and frowns a little. “Hey,” he says softer, placing a hand on my cheek. I glance at him out of the corner of my eyes a little and notice his wide grin is gone and in its place is a much softer smile. “It’s okay, Ryan.”

No, it’s not okay. He knows I like him and he totally doesn’t feel the same way. Fuck, wow I’m stupid. Totally misinterpreting signs sucks. I feel my face burn even deeper red and glance away again. Brendon’s hand readjusts on my face and before I know it, his lips are pressing softly against mine.

My eyes flutter shut and I instinctively press back. Holy shit. Brendon was actually kissing me. Brendon’s lips pull up into a smile against mine and he gives one soft press more before  pulling away no more than an inch and giving me a real smile. I can’t help but return it.

“If I had known you liked me I would have done that a long time again,” Brendon hushes out and I feel my heart skip a little. Wait, what? He liked me, too?

“Wait, how long did you like me?” I ask staring at him incredulously. He had to be joking. This was some sick joke and any second he was gonna be like, “Ha-ha! Just kidding, I never liked you. Gross.”

But no it doesn’t come. Instead he just shrugs, still smiling, and says, “Basically since I first met you. I always thought you weren’t interested so I didn’t pursue it. Spencer had said it would be a waste of time because as far as he knew you didn’t like anyone ever so…” He trails off and I roll my eyes. I was going to _murder_ Spencer.

I shake my head. “No, I’ve definitely liked you for years now and I just thought you didn’t like me back and if I thought you did I felt like I was reading the wrong signs or something,” I babble, not looking at him again and playing with my fingers. He clenches his hand over my fingers and I stop, looking back up at him. He’s giving me a small smile again and I return it effortlessly.

“So,” he draws out. “What now?” I don’t know what he’s suggesting or even if he’s hinting at something so I drop his hand and pick up the shirt he’s dropped off the floor.

“Now you get dressed so we can go tell Spencer and Jon we’re not dead.” He laughs a little, throwing the shirt on and moving over to the bed to pick up the pants I’d given him. I watch as he hops into them, having to squeeze a little because they’re tighter on him than on me. I didn’t take into account for his ass. Oops.

Once he’s finally dressed, I pick up his soiled outfit from before and walk into the hall to throw it in the washer. Might as well clean them and not waste what was probably the only outfit in the house that’d actually fit Brendon properly. I drop in two cups of bleach for safe measure and slam the lid before Brendon grabs my hand and leads me back downstairs. Well this was happening awfully fast.

As soon as we reach the bottom of the stairs and turn the corner both Spencer and Jon seem to exhale with relief.

“Fucking finally!” Spencer shouts, actually running over to hug us both. Jon joins him and we stand in a small hug for a moment before we all decide it’s way too awkward and pull apart. “What took you guys so long?” Spencer looks between Brendon and I and we glance at each other.

“My dad was infected. Brendon and I took care of it. That’s all.” I give a shrug before walking to the couch and plopping down. I take a drink from a bottle of water before I realize it’s silent. Glancing up I see that everyone is staring at me shocked that I just nonchalantly announced that me and Brendon basically killed my father. “What?” I ask defensively and Spencer shakes his head.

“How are you so calm about this?” He asks gesturing around. “You’re acting like I just asked if you wanted coffee or tea or something. Not about you and Brendon slaughtering your fucking father!” Jon’s nodding in agreement with him and I chance a look at Brendon who only offers me a small shrug.

“Well,” I say staring at the top to my water bottle before taking another swig. “It had to be done. We couldn’t stay here tonight unless we did something about it. Now it’s done and we can stay here. But I suggest we move tomorrow to a new place. One that doesn’t have an infected body in it. I don’t know if coming into contact or being around a dead, infected person could infect any of us.” I look between Jon and Spencer and both are staring at me with their jaws open slightly. “Oh and we sealed off the door to his room, so don’t open it.” I add for good measure before returning to my bottle.

Spencer and Jon share a glance that I catch out of the corner of my eye while Brendon moves and sits down next to me on the couch. He grabs my hand, something Spencer is quick to notice.

“Wait, what the hell is that?” he asks gesturing at our hands and narrowing his eyes. Both Brendon and eye shrug innocently which only causes his eyes to narrow into even tinier slits. “Seriously, what’s going on here? Am I missing something?”

“No,” Brendon says, before I can even offer an answer. “You’re not missing anything. I just felt like Ryan could use something comforting right now. Nothing else.” He shrugs and I feel my heart sink down somewhere near my stomach.

Oh.

Well that kind of hurt. Maybe I was just kidding myself then. He probably only said that because he just killed my dad and wanted to be able to try and make things somewhat better. Yeah, that makes a lot more sense than him actually liking me. Jesus Christ, I’m an idiot. It was a lie. Figures. I drop Brendon’s hand and reach for the water bottle again, fiddling with it in my hands. I ignore the obvious look Brendon is giving me, but clear my throat.

“Alright,” I say, glancing up at Spencer and Jon, purposefully not looking at Brendon next to me. I’ll just call him Liar instead. Yeah, that’ll do. “Like I said, we’ll need to find a new place to stay. I think we should pack some food and clothes tonight and tomorrow morning we set out and try and at least get out of the city. I’m sure my dad’s car is in the garage so we can just use that. Drive somewhere out of the desert maybe?”

I end with a question not sure if it’s even a good idea, but both Spencer and Jon are nodding in agreement so I must have said something right.

“Okay that’d be a good idea,” Spencer says, nodding more. “Getting out of the city is good because that means less people. Less people means less infected.”

“Plus as more time goes by, the more infected there will be,” Jon pipes in and Spencer and I both have to agree. He was right, as horrible as that sounded.

“We’ll need to make sure we take a lot of food and supplies and stuff we could use as weapons though,” Spencer adds. “Not sure the next time we’ll come in contact with somewhere we could restock, ya know?”

Fuck, he was right too. At least dad always kept lots of canned food in the house.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Liar offers quietly. Wow, maybe Traitor was a better nickname. “I mean, we have a house to protect us here and food and water and clothing and it’s all right here. I don’t think we should leave.”

“Do you want to get infected from the rotting body upstairs?” I snap and he’s quick to close his mouth. Spencer and Jon both raise their eyebrows in surprise but I ignore them as I stand up and cross the room to the coat closet. I open it and extract all of my old backpacks and other bags from over the years. “Here. Fill these with whatever food and bottled water you can find, along with whatever other necessities you think we need. I’ll deal with clothing.”

I toss them at the guys who move quickly to pick them up. Jon and Spencer each grab several bags and move to the kitchen and pantry to start packing.

“Ryan,” Traitor says quietly, obviously not wanting the other guys to hear, but I brush past him and move up the stairs. “Ryan, come on!” He calls after me but I ignore it still.

No, fuck him. I wasn’t going to have him lie just to make me feel better. I didn’t deserve that.


	3. Chapter 3

Stupid Brendon.

What the fuck gives him the right to lie to me just to try and make me feel better? Does he really think that’s okay? To lie and say just what he thinks a person wants to hear because it seems like the right thing to do at the time?

Fucking asshole.

As I reach the top of the stairs, I hear the washer’s buzzer go off, signaling that the asshole’s clothes are done. I throw open the lid and rip the damp clothing out before shoving them into the dryer and cranking it on.

“Ryan,” I hear softly behind me. I don’t even have to turn around to know it’s Brendon. Sighing, I lean my arms onto the dryer and close my eyes. Maybe if I ignore him, he’ll go away. “I think we need to talk about this.”

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, counting to ten before I push off the dryer and walk towards my bed room. I let out a sigh as I hear Brendon’s footsteps follow me. Couldn’t he fucking take a hint? Moving over to my closet, I open the door and pull out a couple of duffle bags before starting to stuff any clothing I can inside. We’re all close enough to the same size it should work. Plus, we could always stop at a mall or something.

“Ryan,” he pleads, sitting on my bed. “Please. Can’t we just talk about everything?” I sigh and shove the jacket I’m holding into the duffle bag with a little more force than necessary before zipping it.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” I huff out, pulling more clothes down and packing them in another bag. I continue shoving clothing into the bag set on ignoring Brendon until he goes away. The bed shifts as Brendon stands up and I let a sigh of relief out. Good, he’s leaving.

Suddenly I’m spun around and Brendon pins me against the wall.

“Yes, there is something we need to talk about,” he says carefully, obviously struggling to keep his voice level and calm. I narrow my eyes and shove him away from me.

“What?” I cry out, my voice rising slightly in comparison to his calm one causing Brendon’s jaw to drop open in surprise. “What do we need to talk about? About how you lied to me? About how you basically threw my own feelings back in my face? About how you made me look like a fucking moron?”

I’m breathing so hard that my chest is actually heaving and I watch as Brendon tries to compose his expression. He shakes his head before grabbing my face and pressing his lips roughly against mine. I grunt in surprise and shove him away from me.

“What the fuck?” I yell, my chest moving even harder now out of pure anger. I actually feel as if my blood is about to fucking boil. I glare at Brendon. “You can’t just fucking kiss me and expect things to be okay, Brendon. You lied to try and make me feel better. And that is not an o-fucking-kay thing to do to someone. Especially right after they watched you kill their fucking father.” I spit out the last word and shove against his chest again so I can walk to the dresser against the other wall.

“Seriously?” Brendon mutters disbelievingly as I throw more clothes in the old, black duffle bag. “You really think I was lying about liking you?”  I turn around and see him shaking his head slowly. I fold my arms across my chess and narrow my eyes, still watching him shake his head. What is he playing at? It’s not like I’m an idiot.

“I don’t think you were lying,” I say, still eyeing his expression. “I know you were lying.”

“But why do you even think I’m lying?” He asks looking confused. “I don’t understand how you even came to this conclusion.”

“You told Spencer you just thought I needed comfort when he asked what was going on!” I yell, throwing my arms up. Did he seriously not get it? Jesus Christ, he was a fucking moron.

Brendon’s gaping at me with a look I can’t even read clearly. I stare him down, when all of a sudden Brendon starts laughing and shaking his head. Wait, laughing? What the fuck? Why was he fucking laughing?

“What’s so funny?” I snap, glaring at him, and he bites his lip trying to quiet himself.

“Ryan,” he says through the giggles, covering his mouth with his hand. “I thought you just didn’t want Spencer to know that we suddenly were involved right after I had to help you kill your dad. I’m sorry you thought I was lying about liking you, but I was just thinking it wasn’t the best time to explain everything, you know? Sorry if you took it the wrong way.” He gives a sort of apologetic shrug and I feel my shoulders sink.

Oh.

Well fuck. Now I feel like an asshole.

“Oh…” I breathe out. “So, wait, you _do_ like me then?” Brendon’s face softens, and he gives me a small smile before nodding.

“Yes, Ryan,” he gives a small chuckle. “Of course I do. I’m sorry you thought I was lying. I just… ya know?” He doesn’t have to explain it completely even for me to nod in agreement. Wow, I was an idiot. A major, fucking idiot.

“I’m sorry,” I start, but before I can finish my apology, Brendon is crashing his lips to mine. I stumble back into the dresser a little, knocking it into the wall, before realizing I should probably be kissing back.

I press my lips back against his, letting my hands move up and rest against the sides of his neck. Brendon’s lips press harder and I break apart a little to look at him.

“Brendon, I really am sorry,” I start again, still feeling the need to apologize completely, but he’s shaking his head.

“Don’t,” he breathes out before kissing me again. I sigh. Alright, I could deal with this I guess. Brendon moves closer to me, pushing me up against the dresser, making it smack into the wall again. He chuckles and moves his lips with more force against mine. I kiss back, rubbing my thumb against the line of his jaw as he moves his hands to my waist and slides them up under the hem of my t-shirt.

I work to keep thoughts of “holy fuck he’s kissing me” and “he wasn’t lying, he actually likes me oh my God” out of my head and focus on the actual events occurring. His lips are soft and taste almost sweet.

Brendon lets his thumb stroke over my hip bones and I let an involuntary moan slip out, cringing away a little. My cheeks to flare up instantly and I feel him smirk against my lips. He runs the tip of his tongue along them and I let them part automatically. His tongue slips into my mouth and I freeze.

This isn’t my first kiss, not even my first with Brendon now, but I feel like a little kid; not entirely sure of what to do. I can tell I’m over thinking this and I know how much over thinking can ruin things, but I just can’t help it. I feel petrified. Brendon senses my hesitation and pulls back a little.

“You okay?” his voice laced with concern. I swallow and give a nervous nod of my head.

“Yeah… Yeah, I’m fine.” I give a small smile and he smiles back softly before replacing his lips on mine. He seems to move softer this time and I’m grateful. I don’t know if I’m exactly ready to be full on making out with him, even if I had liked him for years. I just couldn’t go that fast.

I move my hand to the back of his neck and follow the movement of his lips against mine. This feels nice. I mean, it’s not 100 percent how I pictured it’d be, considering all the surrounding circumstances, but it was still amazing. I could definitely get used to this.

Suddenly the door slams open and Spencer and Jon rush through it.

“Guys,” Spencer pants out before catching sight of us and freezing. Brendon and I had immediately broken apart when the door slammed open, but we are still closer to each other than we probably should be.

“Oh,” Jon breathes out.

“Okay, well,” Spencer finally says after collecting himself. “Sorry to interrupt, but we have a slight issue involving some zombies and the fact that they’re breaking through your back patio door.” His voice hitches in panic at the end and I feel my blood freeze over. Fuck.

I glance at Brendon and I can see the fear I feel reflected in his eyes right back at me. This was not good. We were expecting to have all night to get ready to leave and now what? We were going to have to leave with no real plans? Not good. Not good at all.

“So we might want to get a move on, if you don’t mind. Or if you prefer, you guys can keep making out until we get killed, yeah?” Spencer snaps, glaring between me and Brendon.

“Fuck,” I finally say. “Okay, um, do you have the bags of, like, food and stuff ready?” Spencer gives me an exasperated nod and I return it. “Okay, good. Um, I have a fair amount of clothes packed, uh, so let’s get all that packed into the car and I’ll grab something like a bat or I don’t know, something, and we can leave. We’ll stop and get anything else we need somewhere else?” I end in a question, not sure if I’m even making sense but all three are nodding and moving to grab the bags I had packed so far.

We race down the stairs and I can’t help but look around at the house we’re about to leave behind. I had lived here since I was born and I was about to walk away from it, more than likely for good. I was never going to race up the staircase to my room again. I wasn’t going to battle Spencer on _Guitar Hero_ in the living room again. This is it.

I follow Spencer and Jon as they run through the kitchen and out into the garage, piling our pathetic excuse for supplies into my dad’s Cobalt. I feel myself freeze as I watch them, my breath catching in my throat. I feel like I’m watching this from an outsider’s point of view. Like everything is finally hitting me. The infected. The end of the world feeling that surrounded us. How I’m not sure if staying or leaving the house is more dangerous.

It’s all real, no matter how much I don’t want to accept it. I know leaving is our best option for now, but what if it goes wrong? What if leaving makes us more vulnerable? Were we going to regret this in a few days’ time?

I must have voiced this last concern because Brendon turns to me and pulls me into a hug.

“We don’t have time to worry if we’re going to regret this,” he murmurs next to my ear, just loud enough for me to hear. “Once we regret something, it’s already too late.” He was right. If we start to regret anything, we are going to screw ourselves over. It’s going to make us slow down. We don’t have time for regrets. All we can do is live in the moment and live with whatever mistakes or accidents come along.

“Guys, come on!” Spencer shouts, leaning out of the driver’s side window. Brendon gives me one more squeeze before dropping his arms from around me and jogging over to the car. I follow and climb into the back seat with him. Jon and Spencer have music blasting through the car’s stereo already and I cock an eyebrow. Jon holds up a giant black CD case that I recognize as my own.

“Figured you wouldn’t mind,” he shrugs and I nod, relaxing as much as I can back against the seat as an old Oasis song plays. It beats having to listen as various bodies smacked into the car while Spencer tried to steer down the road. I’m about to remind him to mind the speed limit and watch the bodies when I realize it doesn’t matter. No cops would care if we sped down the road. And as for the bodies… Well, they were basically dead. I’m sure they didn’t care if a car hit them.

Spencer weaves quickly down the drive, avoiding the largest masses of bodies that seem to sense us even through the car. I watch, noticing some of the people I can recognize as my former neighbors.

The amount of horror movies I have seen in my past could never have prepared me for this; the gruesomeness of it all. The bodies look worse than any corpse I’d seen at a funeral.  The skin is grey and drooping off of the bones, some of which are protruding out even. Their mouths are gaping in various degrees, the teeth broken off completely absent, leaving their open mouths looking like black, barren caves. I know that moans must be pouring out in various pitches and volumes, but I can’t hear it over the music that Jon thankfully put on.

I soon realize that it’s not their movements or noises that scare me the most, though. It’s not their mouths or the bones protruding from their skin. It’s their eyes. The vacantness of their eyes is enough to make you want to throw up. There is only one emotion left behind in the dullness, and it’s the only thing that’s driving them to continue on in their miserable existence. The hunger.

As I glance among the different bodies trying to keep up with the car I realize that the hunger driving them is probably strong enough to keep them moving for years. Centuries. Forever. However long it takes for them to finally break enough bones in their bodies that they can no longer move themselves.

My attention falls to a small girl who can’t be more than three, her blonde hair in two messy pigtails and her dress torn where, what I can only assume is a rib bone, is protruding out. Her blue eyes that must have once held laughter and joy but now only hunger are locked on mine. I know she can’t be looking at me how she might have at one time, and now only does it out of want. Out of instinct. Out of knowledge that I am the only thing she needs get.

I feel bile rise in my throat as I realize that the life she once knew is now meaningless to her. She probably holds no memories of what her life once was and how things were in the world. All she knows now is to keep moving. To keep going after the one thing that means something to her now. The one thing all of the infected crave.

I look away from the child and I move my attention back to the inside of the car. The middle of the seat is pulled down so things in the trunk can be accessed without us having to get out. I watch as Brendon sorts through our meager stash of items. He counts out everything and seems to be taking note on a small pad of paper that I glance at over his shoulder.

We have a somewhat decent amount of food, but not nearly enough water. We are definitely going to have to stop somewhere. Brendon looks up and gives me a small, sad smile and shrugs.

“I was thinking I should probably go on a diet soon anyways,” he jokes and I give a small chuckle in return, more out of nervousness than humor.

Both of us are scared, yet we don’t want to show it. Fear is a weakness we do not need right now. No time for fear. No time for regrets. We don’t have much time for anything except to keep moving and surviving. Those are the only two things that really matter at this point. The only things that will keep us from turning into the very things we are running from.

Soon we hit the highway out of the city and Spencer pushes the car to move even faster, driving us even further away from the hoard of dead behind us. I feel myself slip down further in my seat and my eyelids start to lower. I glance at the clock and notice it’s only 9.  Today had been so exhausting.

Brendon notices me and I watch as he ruffles through a bag before pulling out a blanket that until recently had been laying on the back of my couch in the living room. He flips up the middle of the seat and crawls over next to me, throwing the blanket over the two of us, engulfing me instantly in warmth. I smile a little as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer to his chest and close my eyes.

“Thank you,” I breathe out sleepily right before I drift off into unconsciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

_I open my eyes and I’m greeted with green light all around me thanks to the trees above me and I can hear birds chirping nearby. I look around and spot Brendon, Jon and Spencer all smiling at me. I feel a smile break across my own face and start to walk towards them. Jon starts to get paler the closer I get and I stop after a few steps._

_“Jon, are you okay?” I ask, worry thick in my voice. He doesn’t look so good._

_He opens his mouth to speak but instead of words pouring out of his mouth, a thick stream of blood comes streaming out. I step back to avoid any splatter, but Brendon and Spencer stay put, their smiles no longer in place on their faces, but rather a look of pure hatred etched across them._

_“What’s going on?” My voice is heavy and doesn’t even echo off the surrounding trees. The sound just dies, as if the air around us is too dead to help the sound reverberate back._

_Jon stands back up straight and turns to Spencer and I watch as he lurches forward and sinks his teeth into Spencer’s throat. Blood spurts out, a mix of the leftover blood in Jon’s mouth and the fresh blood from Spencer’s jugular and I feel my stomach give an unpleasant twist. I try to yell, but my voice chokes in my throat._

_Spencer stands still as Jon continues to bite into his neck, tearing pieces of flesh away until a gaping hole is left, blood still spurting out. Both then turn to Brendon and I watch as they attack him together, Spencer going for the neck and Jon for a shoulder._

_“STOP!” I yell, finally finding the strength to speak again. “STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I stare as the previously green ground beneath us takes on a more macabre look._

_All three turn back to me and start moving toward towards me slowly, their arms stretched out like my dad’s had been. I feel a weight in my hand and look down to see I’m holding the metal bat from earlier, still coated in blood._

_“No,” I breathe out as I take a step backwards. “No, no, no. This can’t… No, I won’t… I can’t…” I sputter out my words, taking more steps back until I’m up against a wall of trees._

_Brendon, Jon, and Spencer keep moving closer until I can feel the cold from their fingers brushing against me._

_“NO!” I shout, trying hard to squirm away from their touch. “NO!”_

“Ryan. RYAN!” The voice pulls me out of the nightmare and I sit up, almost bumping my head on the roof of the car.

“Holy fuck,” I pant out, running my hands through my sweat-soaked hair. I close my eyes but all I can see is dead Brendon, Spencer, and Jon walking towards me, the hungry look in their eyes. I open them again and see Brendon peering at me, concern clear in his eyes.

“Ryan, are you okay?” He sounds scared. Fuck, was I talking in my sleep? I nod and gulp down more air.

“Just. A nightmare. No big deal.” I’m still panting, but I’ve slumped back down against the seat again. Brendon is watching me warily, but eventually he sighs and slides close to me again, wrapping his arms around me.

“Just go back to sleep, Ry,” he whispers, his lips pressed against my temple. I nod and close my eyes, feeling myself fall immediately into a dreamless sleep.

******************************************

“So he didn’t show any emotion then?” I hear Spencer’s voice float quietly through-out the car. I’m still asleep for the most part so it sounds distorted, like I’m underwater.

“Yeah, it was weird.” Brendon this time, his voice hushed as if to not wake me up. A lost cause really. “He like, froze and didn’t even move, so I like pushed past him, and started swinging but the umbrella wasn’t strong enough. And I turned back to Ryan, but he was zoned out so I had to take the bat from him and use that. He seriously didn’t move…”

He trails off at the end and I wonder if he can tell I’m awake now and listening in. I feel Brendon stroke through my hair softly and I keep my breathing even and deep, trying to keep up the sleeping façade. It seems to work because he sighs and I feel him shift a little, his attention no longer focused on me.

“Has he said anything then?” Spencer again.

“No,” Brendon sighs out. “Well… actually once he did. When he was yelling at me earlier. He said it wasn’t okay to lie to someone after you killed their father basically.”

“So he is upset about it then or?” Spencer lets the unfinished question hang for a few moments. Brendon starts to say something but I let out a fake groan and feigned stretching as if I have just woken up. I don’t want to hear anymore.

Brendon cuts off from whatever he’s about to say and his hand finds its way to my hair. I open my eyes a little, still feigning waking up and am greeted with his own brown ones staring back.  

“Hey,” he says softly, his mouth curling into a small smile. I grimace a little and pretend to rub the sleep out of my eyes. I reopen my eyes and he’s still staring at me, his brow furrowed a little. “You okay?”

I give a quick nod and push myself up into a sitting position while glancing out the window. We’re somewhere mountainous and the sky is a pale pink and seems to be getting lighter by the second. We must have driven all night. I look at the radio and see that it’s 7 am.

“Where are we?” I finally voice, looking at Spencer in the rearview mirror. He glances back at me quickly before redirecting his attention to the road again.

“Somewhere just outside Denver. I figured we’d go east and see what we can find as far as safety goes, I guess.” He gives a shrug and I watch as he grasps Jon’s hand and squeezes it. I look at Jon and notice he’s a bit pale. The reality of this must finally be hitting him too, I guess. I feel Brendon nudge my hand a little and turn my attention back to him.

“Hungry?” He asks, holding up a fruit cup. My stomach growls at his words and I realize just how hungry I actually am. When was the last time I even ate?  I nod and take the fruit cup, pealing the plastic film from the top.

“We don’t have any spoons or anything, so you kind of have to slurp it,” Brendon gives a small shrug but I wave my hand.

“Lack of spoons is the least of my worries right now,” I tip the cup up to my lip and let the sweet juice spill over my tongue before proceeding to devour the fruit in what must be record time. Definitely was a lot hungrier than I thought.

I wipe the excess juice from my face and look back to Brendon who is cocking an eyebrow at me. “Tad bit hungry, huh?” I force out a laugh and nod.

We fall silent again for a few moments, and I watch the sky get lighter and lighter until I finally see the sun peak over the edge of the distant mountains. If the circumstances were different I’d probably ask Spencer to pull over so we could take pictures of it all, but I know we can’t.

Slowly the rural backdrop starts to fade as we pull in closer to what I can only assume is Denver. The streets are surprisingly empty.

No dead.

No living.

_Empty._

I give an involuntary shudder as I realize what must have been a huge city before just being completely empty and void of everyone. I wonder if this is how everywhere is now. Would we go further across the country only to find that everywhere is desolate, emptied of all life as we once knew?

I hope not.

Spencer keeps driving for a while before stopping at an intersection that must be the direct center of the city. We sit there for a moment before finally Brendon sighs and opens his door. I freeze for a second, expecting the infected to come pouring out of the surround buildings and alleyways, but nothing comes.

Just silence.

We all scramble out of the car and move to stand near where Brendon is in the center of the intersection. I glance around and notice not a single car is left. No people. Nothing. If it wasn’t for the buildings, it would be like society never even existed here.

“Shit,” Jon breathes out. It’s barely more than a whisper, but with the silence of everything around us, we hear it clear as day.

“It’s so…” Brendon starts, not bothering to continue.

“Forsaken,” I add, finishing his thought. Jon, Spencer, and Brendon all nod.

We stand there for a few moments when suddenly a trashcan falls over in a nearby alleyway. The crash that echoes through the abandoned city causes us all to jump and I step closer to Brendon who latches our hands together.

Spencer jumps forward to the car and pulls out the baseball bat that Brendon and I had used to kill my dad less than 24 hours ago. I notice it’s cleaned of blood and wonder who did it and when they even had the time. Thought quickly moves from my mind as a man and young girl step out from the alleyway, their hands held up in defense.

 “Hey, man,” the guy said, his voice calm but loud in the surrounding silence. “We’re not infected, we just got scared cause we heard noise so Cate knocked over the trashcan and yeah…” He shakes the long, black hair from in front of his eyes and gestures to the girl next to him but trails off obviously not sure if he has us convinced or not. “You can check our pupils if you want even for proof.” He widens his eyes as if we’d be able to tell from this distance, but Spencer must believe him because he lowers the bat back down to his side.

“It’s fine,” Spencer finally says, clearing his throat. “We believe you. I mean, if you were infected, you probably would have come after us by now, really.” The guy cracks a smile and nods.

“Right, same goes for you, I guess,” he’s still nodding and I can’t help but stare. There’s actually life here. And it’s someone who isn’t infected. Maybe the world isn’t as doomed as I thought before. “Anyways, I’m Frank.”

He takes a step forward, extending his hand to Spencer first, then continuing down the line, reaching me last. We all mumble out our names and he cracks another smile. The girl next to him coughs and he glances at her quickly. “Oh, and this is Cate, my little sister.”

Cate gives a small wave and we all murmur out more hellos before an awkward silence settles over the six of us.

“Well,” Frank starts, glancing between the four of us and our car. “If you want, you can come with us and stay at our base. We have food and a shower and beds and basically anything you could imagine, really.” I immediately look to Spencer who looks back and me and gives a shrug.

“Yeah, alright we can do that. Do you guys need a ride?” He looks back at Frank and Cate who both are smiling and Frank nods.

“Yeah, it’d be appreciative. It’s not far, but it’d save energy and time.” We move back to the car and all pile in, me sat tightly between Cate and Brendon in the backseat and Jon on the other side of Cate. Frank sits in the passenger seat, directing Spencer through the empty streets.

“How many of you are there at the base?” I ask, the thought of maybe a military base filled will tons of refugees fills my mind and I feel myself swell with a kind of hope. Things are looking up. It’s going to get better.

“It’s just me, Cate, and two others. The rest of our party has either split up or fallen.” Frank looks out the window and I can tell he doesn’t want to talk about it. I feel my heart sink back down to somewhere behind my stomach. Well, so much for things improving too much.

Spencer follows the rest of the directions which brings us to the parking lot out in front of a mall. Brendon and I share a glance and I can tell we’re thinking the same thing.

“Your base is a mall?” Brendon voices, skepticism heavy in the question.

Frank hesitates a little before answering. “Well, yeah, I know it’s kind of cliché and ‘Dawn of the Dead’-like, but it works really well. The doors automatically lock and the glass is bulletproof, and there’s an obscene amount of food and other supplies, so it’s quite useful.” He finishes on a high note, and I can tell he’s proud of having thought of the idea.

Brendon and I share another glance and again I know we’re thinking the same thing. It’s definitely going to be interesting while we’re with Frank and his lot. Spencer parks near the entrance that Frank points out to him and we all are quick to pile out of the cramped vehicle. We pull out all the bags and supplies and hoist them onto our backs. No use leaving everything in the car if we’re going to be locked inside a mall.

“At least we get a good parking spot,” Brendon says, a smile breaking across his face at the lame joke. I can’t help but let a breathy laugh escape from my lips.

“Always the optimist,” I say, linking our hands together as we follow the rest of the group to the door. Frank pulls out a walkie-talkie from his pocket and presses a button.

“Yeah, Mikey it’s Frank, come to the entrance near Sears. We found more survivors.” A reply squawks back and it can’t even have been five minutes before a tall, lanky man with blonde hair is opening the door in front of us.

We quickly move to follow Frank and Cate as they step past who I can only assume is Mikey, who locks the door behind us as soon as the last person is through.

“Where’s Ray?” Frank asks Mikey once he’s finished barring the door behind us.

“Sleeping, last I checked,” Mikey says, scratching his head as he turns to the rest of us. “I’m Mikey, by the way.”

We all give our usual small wave and quick introduction before Frank pipes up again.

“Well, since I can’t introduce you to Ray right now, feel free to venture around. Treat it as your home. Eat whatever, sleep wherever, do whatever. There are showers in the bathroom near the food court, and the water in all the fountains are safe to drink thanks to a private well the mall had.” He gestures around him and we nod.

“Okay, well thanks,” Spencer says, speaking for all of us. “We’ll probably go get some sleep; none of us really had a chance to sleep much last night.”

“At least not a good one,” I chime in, remembering the nightmare from the previous night’s drive. I suppress a shudder as I think of it and move the thought to the back of my mind. No, I did not need that right now.

Frank nods. “Well, the best places with beds are Sears, JC Penney or Macy’s.” He gives us a smile and points in the directions of each store.

Spencer turns to me and Brendon. “Well, you guys can take Sears if you want, and Jon and I can go to JC Penney. That way we each get our own space?” Me and Brendon share a look and nod.

“Yeah, that’d probably be best,” Brendon says, nodding a bit more.

“You’re welcome to leave your stuff here if you want,” Frank offers, gesturing near the door. “No one is gonna take it, I mean even if they did, you’d know who it could be anyways.” He shrugs and the rest of us look around at each other before shrugging as well and tossing our bags and supplies down on the floor. Even if someone does take something, it won’t be anything we can’t replace here.

Brendon laces our hands back together and we walk off towards the entrance to Sears, while Jon and Spencer wander off in the other direction to JC Penney. As Brendon pulls us through the store, I look at all the clothing and other merchandise around us. It’s weird knowing that if I want something I don’t have to pay for it.

I wonder if I’ll ever become accustomed to how the world is now. There aren’t any laws anymore. No rules to abide by. It might be called a sort of freedom, but to me, having to lock myself in a mall to avoid the outside world shouldn’t count as freedom.

I don’t feel free. I feel like a goldfish on display. Like God is watching us to see what will happen if he introduces some toxin to the fishbowl. Testing us to see how far he can push us until we crack. Or maybe he just got sick of our shit and abandoned us all and this is the result. Or maybe there is no God. Maybe this is just what happens when a species is left on its own. We turn on each other. Everything falls to chaos. Better yet, maybe it’s the end of the world, in the form of an ever-so-cliché zombie apocalypse.

No, this couldn’t be the end. To think of the world ending in complete destruction, I just couldn’t deal with that. But then again, how else would the world ever end? It’d have to be in some form of destruction. Meaning there wasn’t going to be a happy ending for anyone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Spencer's POV.

I put my arm around Jon as we head off towards JC Penney. Never thought I’d see the day where I was going to be spending the night in a mall. How cliché. Hide from the zombies in a mall. I feel like I’m in a horror movie and I think we all know how most of those movies end in the long run.

I glance at Jon who is being quieter than normal and can’t help but notice how much more pale he’s gotten in even the last few hours. This isn’t good.

“Hey,” I murmur, pulling us to a stop. I let my eyes run over his features quickly, so he doesn’t notice that I’m looking for more symptoms. His eyes are getting bloodshot and I can tell he’s got a fever from the sweat accumulating on his brow.  “Are you okay?” I finally ask, meeting his somewhat vacant stare.

“Yeah,” he breathes out, giving a small nod and forced smile. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry, Spennykins.”

I crack a smile and pull him in for a hug, wrapping my arms around him tight as if I’m afraid he’ll run away or something. Which, knowing Jon, he might try if the circumstances were different.

I shake the thought from my mind. No, can’t think about that right now. Not yet.

The hug lasts a few moments longer before Jon sighs and pulls away from me.

“Let’s go find a bed, I’m tired,” he yawns, grabbing my hand and pulling me forward with more force than I was expecting.

We pull our way through the rest of the mall, finally reaching the entrance to JC Penney’s. Jon weaves us in and out of various aisles for over 45 minutes (mostly due to the fact that he felt the need to stop and play with the toys in the kids section) before we finally locate the home décor area and bedroom sets.

Jon pulls us over to a queen-sized bed that’s covered in a comforter that looks like something that my mother would pick out and proceeds to drop down onto it face first.

_Shit._

My mom.

I never even thought to call home and ask how her or my sisters were. I don’t even know if they’re okay. Oh God, how could I have forgotten them in the rush to get out of the city? What if they’re still trapped in the house and city? What if they don’t know what happened to me? What if they got infected?

No. No, that can’t have happened. Even if it did, I don’t want to think about it. As far as I’m concerned, they’re safe at home, with the windows and doors boarded up and stocked with plenty of food to ride this thing out with.

Wait, is even is going to be possible to ride this out?  Maybe this wasn’t ever going to end. It could be this is how life is going to be from now on. People constantly boarded up in places in fear of the infected.

Sensing my distraction, Jon tugs on my hand and I snap my attention back to him, letting my previous thoughts clear out of my head as quick as they had come.

“Hey,” he breathes out, mimicking my earlier tone. “You okay?”  I sigh as he pulls me down next to him on the bed and lace our fingers together.

“Do you think it’s always going to be like this?” I ask quietly, my eyes meeting his. His eyes search mine and he’s quiet for a moment. I almost think he may not have heard me at all when he finally opens his mouth.

“I’m not sure…” he draws out, “But I’m not too concerned because I probably won’t be along long enough to find out.”

My eyes fall shut and I let out a hiss at his blunt tone. No, he can’t give up this fast. It’s like he doesn’t even want to try and fight.

“Stop talking like that,” I hiss out, keeping my eyes shut tight. “You don’t know anything for sure yet.” He can’t give up complete hope yet, no. Jon never gives up hope. He’s always so god damn optimistic.

“Spence, you and I both know I’m right. Stop trying to fight the inevitable. It’s going to happen, and there isn’t anything we can do about it.” The tone of his voice is final and it knocks the breath out of me. Fuck. I hate it because deep down I know he’s right, but I’m too damn stubborn to agree with him.

“Maybe we should tell Ryan and Brendon,” he adds on as an afterthought. I let my eyes snap open as my jaw drops. Tell Brendon and Ryan?

No.

 _Absolutely not_.

“No,” I rush out loudly, almost yelling. Jon jumps a little, but his eyes seem to soften as he reaches out a hand and brushes the hair from my face. I close my eyes again and lean into his hand.

“Spenny,” he says quietly, utilizing his usual pet name for me. “They’re gonna have to find out sooner or later. It’s not like this is something we can hide for long…” He trails off at the end and I know he’s right.

Fuck.

He’s always right.

_I hate when he’s right._

I sigh and open my eyes again. I know they’re starting to fill with tears because I can see them reflected back in Jon’s. He brushes his fingers through my hair again and tries to give me a small smile.

“It’ll be okay, Spenny. You don’t have to worry about me. Honest, it’s okay.” 

I shake my head but don’t voice my opinion on the matter because I don’t trust it not to crack. It’s not fair. Why did this have to happen to Jon? Why not me? Or better yet, why didn’t I get the fresh water bottles out of the garage instead of just filling the old ones from the sink? I should have known the water wouldn’t be okay to drink.

Fuck this was my fault.

As if reading my mind, Jon shakes his head.

“Spencer, no, it’s not your fault.” He shifts closer to me, burying his head in my chest and I move quickly to tighten my arms around him. We don’t say anything for a while and I almost think that he must have fallen asleep but he must read my mind again because he chooses then to pipe up.

“I’m gonna miss this,” he breathes out against the skin right above my shirt collar. I give a nervous swallow and tighten my arms more, still not trusting myself to speak.

We’re quiet again and soon I feel his breath start to get deeper against my neck as he slips into sleep. I lay there for what feels like hours before I realize that I’m definitely not going to be able to sleep. Carefully I unwind my arms from around Jon and slip off of the bed, quietly padding down the aisles back to the main part of the mall.

I wander down through the main hallway part of the building and can’t help but glance around in awe at the vastness and emptiness of the entire thing. Seeing all of the stores vacant of people is sort of scary. If the world all were reduced to being infected, would these buildings just sit like this for years to come, waiting endlessly for people to return to them? I guess so considering the infected wouldn’t exactly be able infiltrate the building.

I’m drifting past the mall’s food court when I run into Frank.

“Spencer, right?” He asks, greeting me with a wide smile. I nod, surprised he even remembered, considering our names were kind of thrown at him pretty quickly before.

“I have a good memory,” he says, smiling even more having read my mind apparently. “Anyways, I’m heading to the food court to get some coffee and food, care to join me?”

Well I’m kind of hungry, but I know I can’t eat right now because if I do I’ll probably throw up from all the stress I’m under lately, but coffee sounds fantastic.

“Sure,” I say, giving a small shrug that earns yet another smile from Frank before he turns and leads me down the hall towards a Starbucks.

“Starbucks? Seriously?” I wonder out loud, as Frank walks behind the counter and starts messing with the machines.  He meets my gaze and smiles a little.

“Yeah, it’s not as good as it used to be, but it’s something.” He busies himself with the machine for a moment while I find an open seat at a nearby table.

Well, duh, Spencer, they’re all going to be open…

I watch as he pours the hot liquid into two Styrofoam cups and walks back around the counter to sit across from me at the small table. I graciously accept the cup he hands me, murmuring quiet thanks before taking a larger gulp than necessary of the steaming liquid, nearly burning my tongue.

“So how long has Jon been infected?” He asks nonchalantly, almost as he would if he was inquiring about the weather.

I nearly choke on my coffee and have to fight to force the liquid lava down my throat before I finally manage to choke out a strangled, “What?”

“How long has Jon been infected?” Frank repeats just as calmly as before, almost looking amused by my own reaction.

I can’t help but gape at him. How the fuck does he know Jon is infected? He only saw him a matter of minutes.

“H-how… How do you know?” I whisper out, not even bothering to deny him as it would probably be of no use anyways. 

Frank sighs, and I watch as he runs his hand through his hair and stares down his coffee cup. He’s quiet for a moment but then he sighs again and moves his gaze from his cup up to meet my own.

“Let’s just say I know what it’s like to see people become infected and turn first hand,” he says and I feel myself leaning forward in my seat more. Maybe he knows of a way to reverse this then if he’s seen it before.

He must know what I’m thinking because the next thing out of his mouth makes my short-lived hope disappear as fast as it had come.

“There’s no cure, Spencer,” he breathes out quietly. “You must know that by now…”

I let out a sigh. He right and I do know that, I just wanted to have at least some kind of hope that Jon could make it out of this okay. I let my head fall onto the table and close my eyes. Jon is going to turn and there is absolutely nothing I can fucking do to save him.

“This isn’t fair,” I hiss into the table, feeling the urge to punch something. I clench my fists to keep from doing anything stupid that could result in pain. Frank shifts a little in his chair and reaches over to grasp my hand platonically.

“I know,” he soothes, rubbing his thumb calmingly against the back of my hand. “Trust me; I know what it’s like to lose someone you love to the disease. It’s not easy.”

I lift my head up and let my watery gaze meet his own ghosted-over one. His eyes are full of sympathy.

“How?” I ask, wiping my eyes on the back of my sleeve. Frank sighs again and I watch as he drinks heavily from his cup, buying himself a little time to compose himself.

“Well, do you remember before how I talked about how most of our party split up or fell?” He asks, fiddling with his cup and avoiding my gaze. I remember back to the car ride here and remember him vaguely mentioning it so I give him an encouraging nod and he sighs.

“Well, when the virus first hit, we were all in Jersey. He takes a small pause to drink from his cup again and clears his throat. “Anyways, the virus hit and immediately everything in Jersey fell to shit. I don’t expect any of it was on the news because it was so sudden that no one had time to report on it. It was like one of those apocalypse movies, complete and utter chaos. We thankfully got out of the city with a few supplies that we could use until we got to a safe zone. It was Mikey, Ray, Bob, Brian, a few other people we met along the way, myself, Cate, and my boyfriend, Gerard.”

He pauses again, his eyes still on the cup, but a vacant look seems to have taken over them as if he’s reliving back in the past.

“We made it all the way to Indianapolis before we had more issues arise. Apparently the virus there hit even harder than in Jersey. There we encountered the _alacrity_ , as we later found out they were being called. The alacrity are infected who, for some unknown reason, are faster and much more dangerous than any of the other infected. One alacrity can do more damage than nearly 100 normal infected. So as you can probably guess, we weren’t expecting that and that’s where we lost all of the extra people we had met, along with Brian. We knew we couldn’t stay there, so we quickly moved on further west, still in search for some kind of safe zone. We had to keep stealing from random houses and businesses we happened upon while we were traveling, but no one was around for miles so we figured it wasn’t hurting anyone. The weapons we came across definitely came in handy when facing the infected. You wouldn’t believe what a scythe can do to save your life.”

“We were somewhere in Kansas when we found more alacrity. These ones were even worse and that’s where we lost Bob. We didn’t know Bob was infected at first, we figured it was the stress and turmoil from the endless traveling and running from infected that had gotten to him. But we were wrong.” Frank’s completely disappeared into his own thoughts and is staring at memories that I can only listen to and try to picture.

“Thinking back, we probably should have noticed the signs. The fever, the paling of the skin, the angry outbursts, it all makes sense now, but back then we were stupid and naïve and didn’t want to believe that one of our best friends could have gotten infected. The night he turned was awful. I still remember sitting there as we watched him constantly throw up blood and eventually he just collapsed. We knew he had died, but we didn’t expect him to turn. Gerard was standing too close… and when Bob turned… he just lurched forward… and bit Gerard right on the arm.”

He chokes a little on the last few words and I watch with wide eyes and he gulps down the rest of his coffee and clears his throat a bit.

“All of us were in shock and didn’t know what to do. Bob turned to try and attack me and Mikey as well, but Ray was quick and jumped up and sliced his head off with one of the scythes we had gathered from some farm. We knew Gerard was bitten, but it was far from his heart so we knew we had a bit of time to try to figure out something.”

“In the end, we realized there was nothing we could do. A few weeks went by and while Gerard wasn’t getting as sick as Bob had, we knew he couldn’t stay with us, especially if he was going to turn suddenly. We decided once we got to the border of Colorado, we would get rid of him and Gerard agreed. He knew he was infected and didn’t want to risk our own lives because of it. We drew straws and it turned out that I was going to have to be the one to kill Gerard before he turned.”

I feel my jaw drop open and start shaking my head a little. There is no way I could ever be the one to kill Jon. But, I mean, could I ever really ask anyone else to?  Would I want Ryan or Brendon to be the one to kill Jon?  Maybe I would rather it be me… Maybe that’s how Frank felt as well… I go to ask Frank if this is true, but he seems to still be lost in his story.

“We finally reached the border to Colorado, much to my displeasure and I knew it had to be done. I didn’t want to have to be the one to kill Gerard, but I knew I would rather it be me than anyone else. Gerard and I talked for a while before I knew I couldn’t put it off anymore. I remember standing there with the sickle in my hand, ready to swing it and sever his spinal cord, but before I could go through with it, I dropped it and told him to run.”

I gulp and feel my eyes widen even more.

“What?” I breathe out, staring at Frank unbelievably. He sighs and nods before continuing.

“I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kill him. I knew I’d rather him be out there and infected and somewhat alive in a sense than dead. I just… I couldn’t do it, Spencer.” His eyes meet mine finally and I can see they’re tear-filled.

I nod, completely understanding. I don’t think I could ever kill Jon, even if he were standing there, completely turned, and ready to eat me.

“So, what happened next?” I ask, wondering if maybe there was hope for the story, but Frank gives yet another sad sigh.

“He asked me why. Why wouldn't I just kill him and get it over with? I told him I couldn't do it. That I loved him too much for him to actually be dead when there was an option for him to still somehow exist, even if it wasn't in the ideal fashion. He tried to disagree with me but I wouldn't let him. I told him to run and get out, and then I turned and walked away. He never followed me, so I assume he did as I had told him. That he’s somewhere out, roaming around just like the rest of the infected.”

He finishes so quietly that I have to strain to try and hear him.

“Frank,” I start, not sure how to word my thought correctly without offending him completely, but my curiosity gets the best of me and I just blurt it out. “What are you going to do if you ever run into him out there?”

Frank gives me a small, sad smile and I can tell he’s already thought about this.

“I’d let him get me.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Ryan's POV

I shake the thought from my head as Brendon and I arrive to the furniture section of the store. I scan around the area and notice the beds, immediately feeling the fatigue from the day set in. We hadn’t even done much, but it feels like I had run a fucking marathon. I drop Brendon’s hand and move to the bed, throwing myself face up onto the display comforter. Not the most comfortable thing in the world, but it sure beats the hell out of the backseat of a car.

I feel the bed sink down next to me and turn to see Brendon lying on his stomach next to me, his eyes meeting mine immediately. I adjust my body and face him completely and he cracks a small smile before leaning in and kissing me softly. I return the kiss eagerly, the sleepiness fading away as quickly as it had come.

He pulls away, giving me another small smile and I return it, reaching up to put my hand on his cheek. I stroke his cheek and can’t help but wonder if things would have ended up like this if the situation was different. If people hadn’t gotten affected, where would Brendon and I be? Would we ever have finally gotten to this point? No, probably not.

Brendon seems to give me a few moments alone in my own thoughts before he strokes his fingers down my cheeks again.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks quietly, his deep brown eyes expressing genuine concern.

I shrug a little, not entirely sure how to answer at first. What am I thinking about? I’m thinking about how if Brendon and I weren’t in this situation, we probably wouldn’t have ever gotten together. But I can’t very well tell him that. I hate baring my feelings to people, especially towards Brendon. I can’t face criticism from anyone well, let alone _him_. I can just picture him saying I was stupid to even think like that. That it’s said and done now, so it doesn’t matter either way.

Brendon waits patiently while I think of a way to answer him.

“Well,” I draw out slowly, still trying to come up with something quickly. “I just wish things could be somewhat normal, I guess? Like that we didn’t have to change how everything was before and act like the world is different, you know? I wanna know how life would have continued if this hadn’t happened. Like I don’t want things to be special or treated differently because the fucking apocalypse or whatever the fuck is going on is happening and I just want things to still happen as they would have if this hadn’t happened and…”

I start to ramble and repeat myself a little and watch as Brendon’s eyebrows begin to furrow. Yeah, he has no idea what I’m even trying to get at. I sigh, letting myself trail off into silence.

“Um, wanna run that by me again?” He asks, reaching up to run his hand through his hair, a nervous habit he’s had ever since I can even remember. I let out another sigh and refrain from shaking my head. It’s not worth it to try and repeat myself. I don’t even remember half of what tumbled out of my mouth, anyway.

“I just want things as normal as possible I guess. Like how things would be if the end of the world wasn’t happening around us.” Brendon still looks confused and I have to control myself to keep from losing patience. The boy was clearly not good at picking up hints, even if they were spelled out for him. “Can we just like watch a movie or something? Make me feel like it’s somewhat normal life that we’re living right now?”

Brendon’s eyes light up. Finally something he can comprehend I suppose. He gives me a smile and nods.

“Of course, what kind of movie?” His voice is dripping with enthusiasm. This might have been the best idea for a lie I’ve ever had.

“Uh, surprise me,” I say warily as I watch his smile grow even wider. I’m not sure exactly how much he might decide to surprise me, but if he comes back with that stupid musical he made me watch a couple years ago that he belted out every single song to, I swear to God….

“Okay!” He says, jumping up from the bed with such a force that it actually leaves it bouncing for a few seconds. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere!” And with that, he runs off in search of whatever god forsaken movie his mind insists we have to watch.

“Where would I go anyways?” I mumble to myself, lying back again to look at the ceiling. The ceilings here aren’t too tall. I could probably reach them if I stood up on the bed or another piece of furniture. I should look around sometime and try to find some of those sticky star things that glow in the dark. Maybe it’ll feel more like my room at home then.

No, who am I kidding? It’ll never feel like home. Nothing ever is going to again. No matter what movie Brendon brings back. No matter where we go. Nothing is going to feel or be the same again. Ever.

I roll over onto my stomach and bury my face in the massive pile of display pillows. They smell almost stale from having just sat on an unused bed for so long. Ew, definitely need to make a mental note to wash them or find new ones or something. I should get up and find new pillows while Brendon is off God knows where but I don’t think I could move if I even want to. The fatigue from the day is starting to seep back in and I can feel myself starting to drift off a little just as I hear what must be Brendon returning. I roll over in time to see him walk around in front of a dresser display near the end of the bed holding onto a blue DVD case.

“Hey, I couldn’t find the copy of _It’s A Wonderful Life_ that I wanted so I settled on _Finding Nemo_. Is that okay?” He looks at me with wide eyes full of anticipation and I can’t help but smile. Out of all the movies he possibly could have chosen from, he picked a children’s movie.

“Uh, Bren, how are we gonna watch it?” I glance around, finally realizing that there isn’t a TV or anything to even watch the movie on.

“I thought about that!” Brendon nearly yells, excited that he was already one step ahead of me apparently. He runs back around behind the dresser display and I sit up and wait.

I hear what sounds like a squeaky grocery cart and soon Brendon is wheeling a giant flat screen TV out on a cart, complete with DVD player and everything. He smiles at me wide, clearly proud of himself on having thought of it already and I can’t help but smile back.

I watch him set up the TV and plug it into one of the outlets located on the floor for light displays. He grabs the DVD off the bed and quickly slides it into the player, directing it to the menu and hitting play before throwing himself back onto the bed and sliding up next to where I’m perched against the headboard.

The opening scene comes in and I let my head fall onto Brendon’s shoulder. He snakes his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in more and leaning his head on top of my own. I sigh happily and snuggle in closer to him.

Brendon trails his fingers up and down my arm and I bite my lip, letting different possible situations start to flood my mind. I think back to the kisses in my room before we had to run. I wonder if Spencer and Jon had run in at that point, if things would have gotten further.

Honestly, maybe it's best they didn't. I mean, I don't want to die a virgin, but I'd probably be so nervous that I'd like do something to hurt Brendon. It probably wasn't a good idea. Then again, I'd have to get over that fear sometime or another. Preferably sooner rather than later.

I send the thought to the back of my mind and focus back in on the movie. It's still not very far in and it's only at the part where Nemo's mom has died and Marlin find's out Nemo is the last egg left.

I can't help but realize how it sort of relates to our current situation. Everyone else is dead or as good as dead at least, and we found what seems to be the last egg, here in a god damn shopping mall. Seriously, if someone had told me when I first watched _Finding Nemo_ that I'd be able to relate to it someday, I probably would have thrown something at their face.

As I focus back in on the movie, I notice that Brendon’s stopped stroking my arm and I shift back a little to look at him and instantly wish I hadn’t. He’s crying, and it’s obvious that he doesn’t want me to see it because once he catches my eye, he moves quickly to wipe his eyes off and sniff a bit.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, still wiping at his eyes to avoid looking at me. “I just… Sorry… Just... This fucking movie…” He gestures wildly at the screen and sniffs again.

I look back at the screen a little confused and glance back at Brendon.

“Um, okay?” I breathe out, not completely understanding exactly what the fuck he means, but I mean if Disney movies really move him to tears, I’m not gonna judge. I for one, often cry during the Lion King every time I watch it. Brendon sighs and shakes his head, so I reach out for his hand and clutch it tightly in my own.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I say softly, stroking his cheek my free hand. “It’s just a movie, honey.”

“No,” Brendon whimpers out, shaking his head again. “It’s not just a movie. Just, I’m scared.”

“Of the movie?”

“No! Not of the movie! This isn’t even about the movie! I’m scared of everything right now! What’s going to happen to us? To life? To our families? To everyone?! Everyone is either dying or good enough as dead. I just want things to go back to normal! This just, it’s just too much, Ryan!” He collapses into sobs, and I’m quick to pull him against my chest.

“Shh,” I soothe, rubbing my hands up and down his back. “It’ll be okay, I promise, Bren. Don’t worry.” I keep making soothing sounds and rub his back until he’s calmed down a fair bit before moving him back to look him in the eye. He gives me a small, sad smile.

“Thanks, Ry,” he breathes out. “I’m just scared, you know?”

“I know, Bren,” I say, hugging him back to me again. “I’m scared, too. We all are.”

He sniffs into the crook of my neck and I feel him wrap his arms around me tighter as if he’s afraid I’m gonna float away or something. We stay like that for a few minutes more before Brendon finally pulls away enough to move up and lean his forehead against mine. I stare into his eyes and give him a soft smile. Brendon smiles back before leaning in and pressing his lips against mine.

I press mine back against his and instantly I’m being pushed onto my back as he straddles my lap, deepening the kiss. I let out a soft grunt in surprise and reach up to tangle my fingers in his dark brown hair, pulling him closer to me.

Brendon grinds himself down onto me hard and I moan, letting my teeth sink into his lip. He must like that because he grinds down even harder, eliciting another moan from me.

Brendon runs the tip of his tongue over my lip before slipping it into my mouth and twisting it around my own. I allow my tongue to move against his, trying to fight for dominance but knowing I’m not going to win. He nips at my tongue softly, sucking it into his mouth even more and I let out another moan, tightening my grip in his hair more.

He slides his hands down my sides, slipping one up my shirt over my stomach and leads the other to my jeans where he fumbles to unbutton them. I quickly detach my lips from his and pull back to stare at him for a moment.

“Exactly how far are we taking this, Bren?” I ask, biting my lip wishing I hadn’t even stopped to mention anything.

“Well,” he leans down and kisses along my jaw. “I was kind of hoping to go all the way maybe?” He ends in a question, almost as if he’s unsure if he was out of place to say something.

I let out a sigh, wiggling slight from the awkwardness.

“Why? How far did _you_ want to take this?” Brendon asks, pulling back to look at me and stroke a hand down my cheek and jaw.

I shrug and look to the side to avoid his gaze.

“Definitely not all the way yet,” I breathe out. I move my gaze back to his. “But, I mean, we can do some stuff. I just… I’d rather wait to go _all_ the way, you know?”

He nods, leaning in quickly to reattach our lips. I kiss back fervently, hoping to somehow make up the lack of me putting out to him. While he’s distracted at sucking on my tongue again, I roll us over so that I’m now straddling him. He giggles and I smirk, deepening our kiss again, my tongue tangling against his and moving them in a sort of rhythm.

I run my hand down his chest to the hem of his shirt, hooking my fingers into it and pulling it up over his head. He tries to do the same to me, but my shirt ends up stuck around my head and I have to help him before I can get back to kissing him. I trail my fingers down over his chest again down to his pants and work on unbuttoning them. It’s enough of a distraction that Brendon’s tongue wins out again in the fight and I let him take over the lead as I focus on pushing his jeans down enough that I can get a hand inside of his pants.

I break the kiss for a moment to run my tongue over my palm quickly before I press my lips to Brendon’s jaw and wrap my hand tightly around his dick. He moans softly and lets his head tilt back more giving me better access to his throat. I press more kisses along the area where his pulse seems to beat strongest and start sliding my hand up and down the length of his cock at a slow pace.

He bucks up into my hand, already wanting more than I’m giving him and I smirk against his skin before letting my teeth nip at it gently. Brendon moans again, his hips bucking again as I increase the pace, twisting my wrist a bit as I reach closer to the head. I thumb over his slit, letting the small drop of precum he’s already produced slick up my hand a bit more.

Brendon’s already starting to pant and I start kissing down his chest and stomach until I’m kneeling between his legs, my mouth poised right above the head of his cock. I’ve never done this before, but it can’t be hard. I’ve seen porn before, so I know the basics I guess.

I flatten my tongue and let it run over his entire length before slowly sliding my lips over his head and letting my tongue flick over his slit. He lets out another moan, bucking into my mouth a little before I have time to pin his hips down with my free arm. I press my arm over his stomach, keeping him pinned to the bed as I slide my lips further down his dick until I feel his head hit the back of my throat. I gag, sliding up a bit and sucking softly as I do.

I feel Brendon’s hands lace into my hair as his panting above me increases and he lets out a soft moan.

“Ry,” he breathes out and that’s all it takes for me to be sure that I’m definitely doing something right. I slide back down, letting him hit the back of my throat again, this time making sure to swallow so I don’t gag. I suck softly again as I slide back up to his head, licking over the slit and letting his precum stain my tongue.

I grip my free hand at his base, sliding it up to meet my mouth and create a rhythm between my mouth and hand. He moans, his fingers tightening in my hair and feel his stomach start to clench under my arm that’s pinning him down.

“So… close…” he pants out, his fingers pulling my hair so hard I think I may be balding in patches by the time this is over. I suck harder, letting my rhythm of hand and mouth motions pick up, wanting to bring him closer to his orgasm faster.

It doesn’t take more than a few more minutes of me twisting my wrist just right and flicking my tongue over the head again before he’s spewing my name mixed with a few profanities from his mouth and spilling down my throat. I let my arm that’s holding him down up, allowing him to buck into my mouth at last as he rides out his orgasm. He stops coming and finally falls back flat onto the bed, his breath still harsh.

I pick up my shirt from where it was discarded and clean him up before tucking his dick back in his pants and collapsing next to him. He looks over at me, a lazy smile plastered across his face as he leans over and presses his lips to mine. I kiss him back enthusiastically and am slightly disappointed when pulls away to cuddle into my side, his arms wrapping across my  middle. 

I wrap my arms around his shoulders,  holding him to me and soon I feel his breathing even out as he slips into sleep. I focus on the TV, watching as Dory and Marlin try to get out of the whale.

The last thought I have before I fall asleep is that I can’t believe I just gave my blowjob to the most innocent movie of all time. Then again, I guess in what would be considered an apocalypse, now isn’t the best time to be picky over everything.

*********************************************************************

_I’m in the forest again, but this time it’s dark and not the bright, cheery green from before. I spin around looking for Spencer, Jon, and Brendon but no one is here._

_What the fuck? Where are they? I know how this nightmare goes. Why aren’t they here?_

_“Hi.”_

_I spin around again and spot Cate standing next to a man I’ve never seen before. She gives me a small wave and I notice she’s covered in blood. From what I can tell the strange man is clean and completely okay, with the exception of what looks to be a healed over bite mark on the side of his throat. He’s dressed in what appears to be an all-black suit and I can’t help but feel even more apprehensive now than before._

_Cate takes another step forward and I snap my attention back to her. She gives me a small smile, revealing a mouth full of teeth coated in crimson. I feel my stomach churn and stumble back a few paces._

_What the fuck is going on? This isn’t how the nightmare usually goes._

_“You can’t save them, Ryan,” Cate finally says, stepping towards me again. I take another step back but end up pressed against the wall of trees behind me._

_“W-what?” I sputter out, glancing back towards the man who hasn’t moved forward with Cate. He seems to just be observing what’s going on and it makes my stomach twist even more. This isn’t right._

_“You can’t save them,” she repeats, displaying yet another blood red smile. “You can’t save them. Quit trying. You’re going to fail and they’re all going to die. Maybe even you. Maybe not. Maybe God will decide to let you roam the earth for the rest of your life watching everyone else become walkers, just like He did with him.” She gestures over her shoulder at the man in black whose face grows darker at her words._

_“What the fuck are you talking about? What’s going on?” I’m nearly shouting and I let myself drop to the ground, pulling my knees up to my chest._

_Cate lets out a laugh that’s more than a bark and walks towards me until she’s close enough that I can smell the metallic scent of the blood on her breath._

_“This is it, Ryan. It’s over. Just give up.”_

_And with that, she leans forward and her teeth sink into my neck right where I know my pulse is the strongest._

Before I can feel the inevitable pain of her teeth piercing into my flesh, I jolt awake and bolt upright, trying to regain my normal breathing rate.

“Fuck,” I pant out, glancing at Brendon and notice he’s still fast asleep, his mouth open as he snores quietly with his arm wrapped tight around my waist.

I run my hands through my sweat soaked hair and groan quietly. Fuck, now I need to shower or something, this is disgusting. I unwrap myself from Brendon’s grip and hop down from the bed, slipping on my shirt and a pair of socks so I don’t have to walk barefoot and half-naked through the mall.

I pad down the aisles back into the main hall of the shopping complex, grabbing a towel and a change of clothes from different shops as I make my way towards the food court. I round the corner, noticing the sign near the ceiling indicating the bathroom and pick up my pace, now even more eager to finally be able to clean myself up. Pushing open the heavy door, I’m greeted with three urinals and 2 putrid green stalls against the wall to my left and at the end of the room I see a set of lockers next to a giant shower room. Perfect.

I shed my clothes quickly, not even bothering to fold them as I chuck them onto the counter next to my clean change of clothing. There’s already a large variety of shampoos and soaps piled in the corner of the shower room, which is great considering I had forgotten to even grab some on my way here.

I stare at the shower knobs for a few minutes, trying to figure out how to even operate it before finally figuring out the damn thing. I switch on the hot water and step under it, shivering a little as it’s colder than I’d have preferred. It’s better than nothing though I guess.

Deciding I’d rather not freeze to death in a shower, I hurry to wash my hair and scrub over my body before switching off the water and wrapping myself in the large, fluffy, white towel I brought with me. I’m still shivering as I pull on my clean clothes and run the towel through my hair. I gather up my dirty clothing and glance around for a place to put them, not wanting to have to haul them around with me. I spot a giant bin that looks full of laundry so I chuck my clothes into it before finally moving back to the door and exiting back into the food court entrance.

As soon as I step out of the door I run smack into Cate, causing both her and I to end up sprawled out on the floor.

“Sorry,” we both mutter out at the same time and we both laugh awkwardly. I push myself to my feet and hold out my hand to help her up. She grasps onto my hand, and I pull her back to her feet and watch as she brushes herself off.

“You’re Ryan, right?” She asks, her eyes scanning over my face as if trying to recall it from the rush of names before. I nod and give her a soft smile that she returns. “I’m Cate”

“Yeah, I think I remember that,” I nod, and glance around the food court, noticing Spencer and Frank sitting in the Starbucks dining area. Huh, I wonder where Jon is. I direct my attention back to Cate. “How long have you guys been here anyways?”

“Not very long I don’t think.” She gives a shrug as if she’s not even concerned about it really. “You sort of lose a sense of time when you’re stuck in the same place day after day. We never really get to leave. Yesterday was the first day any of us had left since we’ve been here and we found you. Now Frank’s wondering if we’ve been missing others coming through the city. He’ll probably want to go out more often.”

She lets out a soft sigh and looks down at her feet, shuffling them a little. She can’t be more than 13 and yet she seems to have a grasp on everything that’s going on around here. I mean, I’m not that much older than her at 17, but still… I had no idea how she could come to terms with the fucking end of the world so well.

“How did you guys even end up here? Were you all originally from this city or what?” Before I even finish the question, she’s shaking her head.

“We’re all from New Jersey. We had to leave because the infection started and everyone got sick, and when they turned, we had no choice but to run. Run or become one of them. So we all ran west, hoping maybe it hadn’t spread over here, but it did. Almost worse than it had there…”

“How many of you all were there?” I ask, picturing only her, Frank, Mikey, and the other man Ray, who I hadn’t met yet, running together.

She sighs, giving another shrug.

“We started with a lot, but they died off fast… or disappeared. We’d wake up, and one or two would be gone. It was either that or we had to kill them off.” She looks back at the ground and goes back to shuffling her feet.

“Frank had to kill his boyfriend, Gerard. That was right before we ended up here. I think that’s why Frank decided to stop running. He figured it’d be safer to stay in one place and look for people than risk getting attacked or having to kill more people.” She looks back up to me and I can tell that she’s more than her fair share of horror in her short life so far.

“That’s awful,” I say, thinking about what’d it’d be like if I had to kill Brendon. No way would I be able to ever do that. It’d almost be better to just leave him behind and let him turn on his own, than have to be the one to end it all for him. I’d rather know he’s out there somewhat alive than know I was the one who killed him.

“Yeah,” she says, giving yet another shrug. “It was necessary. You do what you have to stay alive.”

She is right, as blunt as it is. It almost shocks me that a little girl could have a better grasp on what is really going on here than me. She knows what it took to survive. I don’t. God, it’s like being in a horror movie and watching the dumbass character that does all the stupid shit that you know is just going to get them killed. Except, this is real life, and I’m that character. If I don’t get my shit together soon, I’m going to end up dead.


End file.
